omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
