Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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