ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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