Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
