Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
