Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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