And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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