she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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