your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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