Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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