Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Porn is love you can see.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
