we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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