3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Bring me that man meat
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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