Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
