I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
