That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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