I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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