On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
