grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize