Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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