But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just found puke in my bra..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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