your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
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You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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