I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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