so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
