she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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