Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
