Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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