i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
