Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
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We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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