omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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