She went from zero to smokin in five shots
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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