like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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