i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So squirting runs in the family.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
