I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it glows. i had to have it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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