yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
