eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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