so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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