Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
