yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize