and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize