i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize