We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
