...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
