I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
