peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
