...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize