She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
