we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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