I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
