i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sobbing to NWA
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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