mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
