and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
