is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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