If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
