Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
