Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
